The Guru's Grace
Read a bit about my thoughts on the guru’s grace below and watch and except from the movie about Ram Dass’s life, entitled Fierce Grace — here.
What does it mean to receive the guru’s grace? How can I practice trust in my guru’s grace? How do I express my faith in the grace of the guru? What is grace?
Grace is not necessarily the outcome that you desire. Grace is not always what you wanted. Grace is beyond your own knowing of what is right or wrong or better or worse and I suppose for me that is the fear, the place that I lack faith. When I am told or reassured that grace is coming, I now assume the worst. I assume that grace is an act of revealing where and why and how exactly I am stuck. Stuck in my mind. I assume that grace will push me - fiercely, lovingly in a different direction. I am nervous that might mis-preceive grace. I worry about foolishly trusting the unknown and unseen forces as they lead me past potential obstacles and hindrances to even deeper and taller ones. I think that grace is going take more from me than it will give (as if this were possible). I am suspicious that grace is not in alignment with what I truly desire in life. I hope that grace will swoop in and erase every issue that I have, every burden that I am choosing or not choosing to carry.
The guru’s grace is a change in perspective. The guru’s grace is liberation from fear. The guru’s grace is freedom from suffering. The guru’s grace is knowledge. The guru’s grace is everything. My guru’s grace is overwhelming . . .
What the guru truly wants is for me to be with him. To be in love with him. To be present to him and sharing this love with others. Surrendered to him and his love. When I get caught in my fear and in my distrust, I feel lost and alone and incapable of directing the flow of my own life, or, at least, navigating the waters with some level of skill, purpose and success — this is when I look for grace.
Grace seems to take me further and further from what I believe I truly want and into another world that is actually the one that I want.
I need to surrender my will. I need to be myself and everything will be okay. Ram Dass reminds me to surrender, and then surrender your need to surrender. The guru’s grace comes unexpectedly at moments of desperation, elation and just ordinary moments of combing your hair in the mirror. The guru’s grace is oneness, wholeness. The guru’s grace is bigger and wider than you can know. The guru’s grace is his or her choice. The guru’s grace is your destiny. The grace will come, Ram Dass said. That is what Maharaji said to him while in the hospital after his stroke - The picture moved and said, “The grace will come”.